Changing your attitude in awkward environments
Say you don’t like clubs. Most guys don’t, because most guys have a had a number of negative experiences in them (even if the worst that ever happened was you saw some shmuck leave with a lady and you went home with your hand).
Using the same exercise, instead of focusing on something you said or did, focus on your ATTITUDE when you enter the club.
Then, rewind to walking in the door, or just before that girl gave you the cold shoulder, or whatever you choose as the marker for when the NEGATIVE started affecting your behavior.
When you go back, CALM YOURSELF DOWN and whisper all the GOOD things that will happen to you instead of worrying about the BAD. Use your relaxation trigger.
Then, when you REALLY are there and the nervousness starts to bubble, the trigger will be that much more POWERFUL.
Practice this a lot. I’d recommend every day, cycling through different experiences and environments where you had those negative vibes ruining you. Keep doing it until you can CONTROL those negative thoughts, and TRANSFORM them into relaxed confident ones. Only when you’re relaxed are you truly going to be able to be PLAYFUL.
Alright, here’s one more related exercise I’m throwing in which can do WONDERS for you.
What you first need to do is pick a guy whose skills you admire. Someone you know personally is best. Short that, someone you’ve seen at work is fine as well. Short that, picking a smooth character like James Bond or Indiana Jones can be just as powerful. If you can find someone who’s personality isn’t too far off from yours (quiet with quiet, charismatic with charismatic, etc) that’s best of all.
- Relax, take a deep breath, and close your eyes.
- Relaxation for a few minutes.
- Think of your example. Someone who gets women like he’s born to it.
- Put your example in his own movie. Watch him moving throughout his day. Notice how he carries himself, what he thinks, how he moves, what he says.
- Now imagine that you rise out of your body and enter into the body of this person. Run the movie again, and notice how you carry yourself, what you think, how you move, what you say.
- After you are satisfied that you can BECOME your example, relax and count from one to five, saying “Now I will count from one to five, saying “Now I will count from one to five, and when I open my eyes I will feel much better than I ever have before… 1… 2… 3… 4… 5.” Open your eyes and write down your experiences from within your created realities.
This is also great because if you ever find yourself stuck with a situation like dating a girl on adultfrienedfinder, and you don’t know how you should act to make it turn out right, you can just insert your preferred stud and see how HE’D handle it. Then, graft and adapt his moves to yours.
Don’t Lose Yourself in a sketch
I want to stress, this is NOT about losing yourself and becoming someone else. This is about figuring out the SKILLS of this other guy, and making them work for YOU and YOUR personality. There are thousands of ways up a mountain, and you’ve gotta figure out which one is right for YOU.
But watching how someone else does it can only help. Think of it like learning all about carabiners and ropes and knots before you go climbing. Sure, you’re going to pick your own route – but watching someone else do it right can only help.
Your homework? Practice this. Take it to the streets and practice with real people what you’ve practiced with imaginary ones. If things don’t go as you imagined, don’t get discouraged – you’re just getting a better feel for the way people really are and the way they really act.
Don’t see your mistakes as failures, but as learning experiences. Keeping the positive attitude is the only way you’re going to improve, and figuring out how to turn your obstacles into lessons is the way to do that.
Enjoy this stuff. After a bit of time, you’ll feel different about EVERYTHING.